Dealing W/ Grief
The saying “Time heals all wounds”, is nowhere near true. Losing somebody that you’ve built a connection with - whether surface or deep level - will always leave a piece of your heart incomplete. Time can and will, if you allow it, teach you how to deal with your new reality of that person no longer being physically present in your life but it won’t completely take away the pain that you feel. It’s okay to have your days, whatever it may look like. Have that cry session, go to a smash room, take that hike in nature, go to sleep, EAT THAT ICE CREAM - WITHOUT JUDGMENT, whatever grieving looks like TO YOU, DO IT. The more you allow yourself to feel your feelings when you grieve, the more you will allow your body to release all the tension, guilt, heartache, depressive and suicidal thoughts, and eating disorders that have been inhibiting your mind, body, and soul.
I’m able to tell you these things because of my own experiences in life. I’ve been dealing with grief from the age of 6. Starting with the finding/revealing of who my biological father is. I, along with the help of my mother, reached out to him for years with no response. It cost me years worth of affliction, being angry, bullying and antagonizing my peers, self-doubt, not feeling loved, abandonment, and grieving a person I was a part of but NEVER met. I cried a countless number of nights because of grieving a reality that, in my head, I thought was still possible. That reality being, my biological father coming back into the picture and all of the negative thoughts and actions I’ve accumulated would cease to exist. But now that I am older and he is currently active in my life, I realized those characteristics were more harmful in my growing process than helpful but it was too late for them to dissipate overnight. It took years and is still taking years to work through the father wounds that I've developed because of my own thoughts and behaviors, but even though they were harmful in my emotional and mental growing process, they kept me safe and guarded from people who had ill-intentions when trying to deal with me because I would push them all away/they would be hesitant to befriend me due to the defense mechanisms I created. In 2009, at the age of 11, my great-aunt was diagnosed with double pneumonia and passed away. She was my second mother, my confidante. Her love was felt in EVERY room she walked in. She blessed every child that she encountered with unconditional love and sternness.
f close loved ones and friends since 2009 and I can tell you from personal experience, I've learned how to cope and reframe the memories of loss in my head but I still have my days. Those days consisting of crying myself to sleep, listening to music that reminds me of specific people, taking car rides to clear my head, battling suicidal thoughts, and holding tightly to those that I still have around me (hoping not to hold them too tight that they slip away).
